We’re all guilty of pointing out fashion faux pas every now and then but if you want to see some real fashion disasters, you’d have to dial back that clock a bit more than a year.
Human history is as full of enlightening ideas as it is full of absolutely baffling fashion styles - some of which would automatically get you on an offender list if you try to pull them off today - and we’re here to count down the worst (or best) of them.
A lot has been said about women’s fashion and the sacrifices they’ve to make for beauty, especially when it comes to footwear. We’ve all heard about the adverse health effects of certain kinds of heels and soles, though if we’re being honest, they’re still a massive improvement on Chopines; a fashion trend popular in 16th and 17th century Venice, which is essentially shoes with really elongated soles.
The only reason behind this trend’s popularity we can think of is that Venetian women really did not like walking or generally being mobile. Other than that, we have no idea why anyone would want to wear these for night-outs in any century.
We realise that the reason most of these may sound hilarious is because of being from different cultures and time periods, though that benefit of doubt doesn’t extend to crakows. Objectively the most hilarious type of thing to be caught walking around in on this list, crakows were elongated shoes (with a beak-type shape at the end) popular across Europe at different times in history. They were named so because they were believed to have come from the city of Krakow, Poland, though we’re not completely sure if the blame should lie on a single city.
And by elongated, we do mean long; the biggest known crakows worn in England measured around half a meter in length, and needed to be tied back with chains to make them feasible.
What should be the ideal colour for a healthy and good-looking set of teeth has been a longstanding debate among dentists – and dental enthusiasts alike – for centuries now. Some say they should be white, some off white, and some suggest that they should match with the skin tone before anything else. But jet black is not on any of their lists (at least anymore), and we’re thankful for it.
It wasn’t that long ago; Ohaguro was the Japanese tradition of dying your teeth black to look good till the early twentieth century. It also turned into a short-term fad in Tudor England, when the Queen accidentally had too much sugar, blackened her teeth in the process and the subjects followed suit.
The word ‘Codpiece’ may be ringing some bells right now, but it’s still probably not ringing the right bells until we jog your memory. You see, men in 15th century Europe used to wear hoses, much like women, which tended to expose their private parts when they sat. To circumvent this very natural problem, they developed a…private-part shaped piece of clothing called a codpiece to keep things covered.
That practical solution didn’t last long though, as that tiny piece of cloth soon turned into a raging fashion statement for men to show off their girth. Codpieces were soon intricately designed and sold in designer boutiques across Europe, and can still be seen in performance costumes around the western world.
Macaroni isn’t just a dish you make for dinner when you don’t have absolutely anything else available, it also refers to a fashion sub-culture in 18th century France. It was similar to the hipsters of today, although way more over-the-top. Their look and slang included many distinctive features, much like the hipsters, but one of the most prominent was their hairstyle.
Macaronis would do up their hair in long, elaborate wigs and topped them off with a tiny hat for effect, providing the whole look a hilarious vibe. The fabulousness of that was only topped by the brightly-coloured stockings and loud overcoats. It was pretty popular, too, as we know that the trend made it to England as soon as it showed up in France.